In Friends of the Heart: Communication between long-term friends we have Sophie and Jay who are best friends and have been best friends for 13 years of their life. Just recently Sophie had to make a road trip to gather all of her father’s belongings because he had passed away. She took the trip with Jay since he was available and also because Sophie’s girlfriend Melissa couldn’t go and they were not going to let her drive across country by herself to get her Dad’s things. This shows emotional closeness that Jay and Melissa both have for Sophie. As she was at her father’s house, she began to think of the conversations she had with him before he died and how she wished she would have paid more attention to what he was saying. This shows that Sophie missed that closeness she had with her father. When Jay and Sophie were leaving the house she seemed bothered and Jay could tell. She told him not to smoke his cigarettes in the rental truck. Jay couldn’t believe after all he was doing for her that she wouldn’t let him just smoke in the truck. This shows paradox of affection towards Sophie by Jay. They joked around how they called each other Thelma and Louise the whole trip. This shows relational closeness because they both share the same thought. They also had a disagreement about playing Lady Gaga on the trip because Jay didn’t want to listen to her. Even though Jay didn’t like the song he began to sing along which turned Sophie’s mood around from almost crying over her father to instant smiling. This shows support behavior because he sang along even though he didn’t want to but it put a smile on his friends face. She now felt light-hearted and excited. Sophie also was complaining about Jay not keeping track off the mileage and how much gas they had used because she wanted to be reimbursed by her bothers for the expenses of the trip. Jay reacted by ignoring her and changing the subject and by avoiding her stares. This shows avoidance within the relationship. Jay also told Sophie years earlier that his partner had died of AIDS and that he had no interest of finding love again. This shows self-disclosure on Jays part. As Sophie tried to encourage Jay to date again, he stormed out of his birthday party. Sophie went to his house to try and make things better but Jay wouldn’t answer. Soon after, Jay came to visit Sophie and they mended the relationship. He would call her every night to say goodnight because Sophie had told him that she missed someone saying goodnight to her like her Dad used to do. Sophie also didn’t have a good relationship with her older brother Mike because she felt like he was all about money and didn’t think she was doing enough with herself. While on the trip Jay realized that he had real insight to Sophie’s life and asked her personal questions that Sophie responded to with detail and shared stories that she had not done before. This shows how their relationship got stronger in closeness and also self-disclosure on Sophie’s part. As Sophie and Jay pulled into a hotel for the night, Sophie told Jay that he had been such a huge help to her and that she had been acting like a jerk. She told him that she loved him on a friend level of course and Jay told her he loved her too. This shows verbal immediacy.
Nichole, I had forgotten that emotional closeness was a shared emotion by both Jay and Melissa and how it affected Sophie by not having that with her father any longer. I liked how you described the way that Jay showed behavior by singing along with Lady Gaga. I thought that Jay showed a lot of restraint by ignoring some of Sophie’s behavior. I agree that their relationship got closer as the years went by. I do find it that they have a special relationship because Sophie allows Jay to take time to think things over as Jay also allows Sophie to do the same before they make up.
ReplyDeleteGood Job on an interesting case.
There is a link between self disclosure and relational closeness but this is not always the case. Sometimes self disclosure can lead to relational distancing. Jay is not really comfortable when Sophie tries to disclose that she really appreciates him, he tells her not to get all mushy with him. This friendship is marked by unspoken disclosures and nonverbal disclosures as Jay reads Sophie's nonverbals to know when she is feeling sad, she does not have to say anything. Yes their insults are verbal immediacy because they both understand these comments as terms of endearment.
ReplyDeleteGood Job.
-Cezanne Sanchez
I agree with CeZanne, I think that because they both self disclose to each other they have developed a great friendship. It is easy for both of them to know exactly when to back off or pull closer to each other. To have a friendship like this one would be amazing!
ReplyDeleteViola Lucero
People communicate in different ways as you wrote in “Friends of the Heart.” Jay and Sophie both used a constructive form of assertiveness that was healthy. Jay realized that she was not having a good day and stopped his insults during the rode trip back home when Sophie wanted to keep track of the mileage to show her brother.
ReplyDeleteThis case had a lot of interesting aspects behind it. Jay actually turned out to be the best thing for Sophie during this rough time. He was a neutral party in the case so she could be open and honest with him. It was also good that they had been friends for so long. This allowed Jay to have an inside look at Sophie's life so that he can comfort her appropriatly. Great job
ReplyDeleteI did this case too I really liked it, Jay and Sophie do have a lot of self disclosure and they are good friends. The use of avoidance was also a good choice for this case study. Jay and Sophie also have a lot of rules between the two of them that they both understand between them. Good job!
ReplyDelete- Chanel Rodriguez